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Hmm, do I call it envy or jealousy, or do I call it wickedness? Faramade was my girlfriend at Secondary School; who didn’t know we were lovers? Name them! The teaching staff and non-teaching; the food and snacks sellers; the students; the Principal and his vice, even those outside the School premises. For once, we were never apart.
As soon as we finished our Secondary education, we decided to go to the same University. Thankfully, we both made our JAMB and post JAMB; but one thing happened, which broke our hearts.
I was admitted to study my course of choice, but she was not. We hoped she would be given a different course, yet her name never appeared even on the Supplementary list. To mend her broken heart in a way, she got admitted into a Polytechnic.
Before we left for our Institutions, we made a promise never to love someone else, but stay true to each other. We viewed to call each other daily; we promised to check on each other at the end of each month.
We definitely stayed true, and kept to the promises…but it only lasted for a while.
…it only lasted for awhile.
After our first year in the Institutions, I couldn’t go to Faramade’s house to meet her; and my reason for not going was because I was very ill. It wasn’t just a short term illness, but one that lasted for over a month. I had Typhoid fever.
Throughout my time at the hospital, I expected her to call me, or at least, message me on one of the social networking sites to know why I haven’t been at her place. Would you believe that I didn’t even get a beep from her? Worried I became as I recuperated at home.
What could have happened? At least, whenever I clicked on her name on WhatsApp at the hospital, it made me aware she was online. Tears rolled down my cheeks, as I looked forward to knowing what was wrong; so I decided to call her.
“Hello Faramade,” I said with a weak voice.
“Yeah… Hi, friend,” she said sharply.
I thought for a second why she referred me to just a friend. She had never said that before; she would either say “My love,” or “Baby.”
Anyway, I overlooked it, having it in mind that I was a friend as well.
“Faramade…,” I stressed. “How’ve you been, by the way?”
“Uhm, cool!” she answered, without bothering to ask of mine.
“Dear, you didn’t even ask of me all this while, it’s not fair,” I sighed.
“Not fair? What do you mean, man? Did you bother to ask of me? I care less about it,” she said breathlessly.
Her words stung me, as my eyes widened in surprise.
“Fara…Faramade, why are you talking this way? Is there…there; is there anything wrong?”
“No…no! The way you put your words made me say that.”
“Oh no, listen to me; okay, I am very sorry for that…but believe me, I was very ill, and I’ve just recovered. I was bothered you didn’t even call me, since I didn’t call.”
“Really? Okay, that’s fine; I hope you’re now well?” she said with no feelings.
“Erm…erm…, yes,” I stuttered.
“Any other thing you got to say, as I need to go somewhere now?”
“I… I… just called to tell you, and I…I… miss you,” I said in a shaky voice.
“Thanks, Timmy,” she said faintly.
I ran out of words, as I stammered. Thankfully, I put some words together.
“Faramade, are you angry with me?”
“No! No! Ugh!”
“I can feel it, I know you are; please, talk to me,” I pleaded.
“Oh God!” she said frustratingly.
“Dear, I know…I know…” she cut the call, making my words hang in the air. “Faramade?”
I quickly called her line again, as my hands shook uncontrollably. It rang, but she didn’t pick; I did again, still the same; as I did the third time, it had been switched off.
My lips parted in shock, as my heart raced at a fast pace; my eyes got dewy as I clutched my phone.
“Fara…Faramade,” I said with a soft tone, bursting into tears.
Throughout that day, I couldn’t cease the tears as I redialled her line, times without number.
I sat up in bed at night and embraced the pillow tightly; I gazed at the wall clock in the room, and it was 10:52pm. I stretched to get my phone from the nearby table to log onto my Facebook account.
As soon as I logged in, I scrolled down to view different posts from my friends. To my surprise, I saw a picture uploaded by Faramade an hour ago; she was seated on the thighs of a young looking guy, with her arms around his neck, and her head rested on his, as they posed to kiss.
I squinted my eyes to be sure it was her; yes, it was.
“What’s going on?” I mumbled, wearing a confused look. Beside her name was a small round green light, indicating she was online. Immediately, I messaged her.
“Faramade dear, please, talk to me. It’s Timmy.”
There was no reply from her, having waited for more than fifteen minutes. I decided to message her again.
Within seconds, she replied this time.
“I messaged you earlier, but you didn’t reply me. Please, I beg you, have I done anything wrong? What could I have done that wouldn’t let you say to me? You hung up the call earlier when I hadn’t finished speaking too; I called you line again and again, but you didn’t pick and later switched off your phone. Faramade love, speak to me, please, tell me what I did,” I typed fast, seeing her immediate response.
“Nothing, I need to sleep now, Timmy,” she refused to answer my questions.
“Faramade, please?” I pleaded.
“Timmy, I am bored of you, if that helps. I should say goodnight now.”
I never knew what to type next, my temperature suddenly got high as I beads of sweat stood out on my face.
“Faramade, I am not bored of you. Why are you tired of me?” I quickly typed.
“Timmy, nothing. It came naturally.”
“Naturally? Erm, can I call you now, please?”
“No! Bye for now. Do sleep well, goodnight,” she replied, going offline.
I didn’t know when a tear rolled down my left cheek; it was like fire was lit in my stomach as I felt heat. One would think I was on cocaine, as I shook like an epileptic person in bed.
“Uhh…,” I moaned, covering my mouth. I had let the love I had for her eaten me deep down, I had trusted her. The beats of headache followed, by playing in my head. I held my head, falling back in bed. Silent cries accompanied, with me breathing deeply, sighing unnumbered times to fight it back, so Mom wouldn’t know.
*OCEAN OF LOVE (PT4)*
As I couldn’t sleep all night, I got out of bed and sat on the seat next to it. I got my diary out of the drawer, writing in tears:
“I am in love with Faramade, but I’m beginning to question her love for me. I refuse to accept that true love doesn’t exist, it does. What really could’ve happened to Faramade? I still don’t understand why she suddenly changed to me. I feel sick, I’m feel bad, love isn’t beside me, I need love. I shall be on my way to her place today; I need to see Fara…I need to, and I don’t mind whatever happens. Next tomorrow is my birthday, I clock nineteen.”
I couldn’t go on to jot down more; I paused, took out the last picture we snapped together, stared at it, placed it close to my chest and burst into tears.
When I was set to go to her place by 11:00am, I twisted my words by telling Mom I was going to course mate’s place. She first of all refused to let me go as I was just recovering. I was looking lean and weak. I told her it was important for me to go as I needed to get some things. She finally gave me the go ahead.
On my way to Faramade’s place, I decided to get a few things for her at a supermarket. As I approached her house, I saw a guy so familiar to the one I saw on Facebook the other night, standing in front of her gate. I slow paced my steps, wondering who he was.
The gate opened and it was Faramade who came out. What I saw next broke the love mirror of my heart. They both embraced each other, kissed and went inside.
I needed to be sure I wasn’t dreaming; so I scratched my eyes and moved closer. They had go in by then. I looked to the left and right to be sure no one was watching me; I composed myself and knocked at the gate.
“Who is it?” she asked.
“Somebody,” I said loudly.
She opened the gate, looked surprised to see me, and then came out, closing the gate behind.
“Timmy, what is it? Why are you here? You didn’t tell me you’d be coming,” she leaned on the gate, pouting her lips.
“Faramade, Faramade, can’t I surprise you anymore? I am sorry not to have informed you, I just needed to do this,” I looked into her eyes.
“Anyway, thanks for coming, you should be on your way now,” she whispered, looking away.
“Why?” I placed my left hand on her shoulder. “Faramade dear, Faramade love, you are not the girl I used to know. We didn’t promise to act this way; we promised to love each other. What is my offence, please? I know I am not perfect, so you should at least tell me. Take a look at me, I am just recovering, I was ill and I am not mad that you didn’t call me. Mom didn’t want me to go out, but I needed to find a way to come down here; I love you, please…I really do,” I slowly said as I my eyes became dewy.
“Erm, Timmy,” she turned to me, hemmed, looking sad. “I loved you, but…”
“But what, please? Tell me,” the tears rolled down.
“I have someone else already, please, excuse me, ” she turned to go in.
“Wait, Faramade…please, wait,” I pleaded, holding her by her wrist. “Tell me my offence at least,” my heart raced faster.
She stopped, slowly turned back to me with an already tear-stained face.
“Okay,” she sneezed. “You denied my love for you.”
“Tell me you don’t love someone else already,” she said breathlessly.
“No, I don’t,” I wore a confused look.
“Now, you just told a lie. Tell me you didn’t go for a birthday party in School, last semester?”
I could remember I did, I nodded my head positively and replied, “Yes, I did.”
“Cool! Tell me you didn’t give someone called Wendy a lap dance?”
“Oh my…” I didn’t know what to say, but thought how she got to know.
“Hold it there, Timmy. Tell me you weren’t drunk? Tell me you didn’t copulate with her? Tell me she isn’t after you now?” Tears streamed down her face.
“Fara…Faramade…,” I stuttered, kneeling down. “I can explain, I swear! I was drugged, I…I…”
“Keep your explanations; all I want is a yes or no. Didn’t you do all that?”
“I did, but…”
“Not but, please! Didn’t you promise to love just me, and me alone? We promised to move away from sex, and promised to marry each other when we are older. You broke the covenant pot; please, move away from me.”
“Fara, listen to me, please, I am begging, please,” I held her hands in tears.
“No need!” She got her hands out of mine. “Thanks to your friend, Fred, who made it possible for me to know. You are wicked! You hid this away from me; don’t ever call me!” she opened the gate and went in.
“Faramade, why not listen to me, please?” I got up, hitting the gate in bitter tears. “Give me audience, please; let me explain to you. I love you for real!” I screamed, breaking down in more tears, as I rested my head on, the gate.,,
I slowly walked down the street in tears, going home sadly. I couldn’t drop the gift I got for her, but took it home.
As I got home, I sat down on the sofa opposite the Television set; I kept changing the channels with the remote, like one who knew nothing.
Randomly, I saw a song titled, *No more love,* by Susan Adelaide. I was about to switch to tune to another channel, but paused as I heard the first line which said:
*”You don’t need my audience, you know what you did.”*
I needed to pay more attention this time, as I increased the volume. She continued by saying,
*”Just go away, I will be fine,*
*No, no, we can’t dine,*
*’Cause, you ain’t mine,*
*And I ain’t thine!”*
The chorus got repeated again, and it was like it was directed to me. I needed to shut down the Television set at that time, walking into the room in deep sadness.
“Faramade should nevertheless listen to me,” I muttered, sitting on the bed. “But then…oh my… Fred caused this nonsense! Why could he have? That single act resulted into this, for God’s sake!” I flung the pillow away, clasping the bed sheet.
I could remember the bet I had in School with Fred and Tomade. Fred had said we should play a game called, _*”The Heartbreak.”*_ I didn’t know it would turn out to be this. How on earth would he have tried to part Faramade and I?
My eyes couldn’t accommodate seeing Faramade with another guy, so I looked to destroy her relationship with the guy I saw with her. Since she couldn’t give me audience, I sought for an alternative.
I logged onto my Facebook account, clicked on Faramade’s name and scrolled down to see if she tagged the guy on yesterday’s picture. Thankfully, she did.
*Faramade was with Gideon Nelson,* it read.
In pain, I bit my lower lip as I thought of what to do. I sighed, clicked on his name to send him a friend request. As I was about to do, I saw he was having thirty-six mutual friends. I paused, thought how come.
Anyway, I hadn’t read his *About him* and his Bio. I scrolled to check them and observed he was also a student of my Institution. My eyes widened in surprise. Quickly, I checked who the mutual friends were, and I saw they were also my Facebook friends at the Campus. I switched back by checking what he was studying, and it read Sociology.
I immediately sent him a friend request, and waited for the acceptance.
Since I did that already, I kept checking if he had accepted every thirty minutes. Thankfully, he had accepted by the time I checked the fifth time. It was time for me to begin my work, I had my agenda,
*OCEAN OF LOVE (PT6)*
By 12:31am, I noticed Gideon Nelson was online; I smirked and typed on the message space:
*”Hello Giddy, thanks for accepting my friend request ? I don’t think I’ve to introduce myself to you, as my name is at the top of your screen.”*
I did and waited for his response. He seemed to be fast in replying, as I got a message from him within seconds.
“Okay, no problem, bro. You’re welcome.”
I slightly nodded my head positively, thought of how to continue.
“How is everything; the family, academics, etc?”
“Oh, good…thank you. How about yours?”
“Good too, brother,” I added the grin emoji. “I wish to tell you more about myself. Can I, if you don’t mind?” I added.
“Sure, brother. I won’t mind.”
“Okay. I am nicknamed Timmy; I am a Christian, a cool guy, one who loves to cook, dance, and read stories. I am the only child, though. What about you, please?”
“Wow, really? The only child? You must be a spoilt brat then, haha,” he joked. “I am Gideon, the first of the three boys in the family, a student, one who loves football and loves love– if you understand me,” he concluded.
“Nice! One who loves love? Hmm, meaning you hate to be cheated on, or…?” I twisted.
“Erm, yeah…I will say,” he replied.
I looked to unleash the chameleon-like human in me, and create a wind of instability in him at that point.
“Oh, I will guess you have a lady whom you trust, and who trusts you then, right?”
“Yes, of course,” he added the wink emoji.
“Oh my, who is this lucky lady, Giddy? I hope you won’t mind showing me a picture of her?” I asked to see if he’d be silly to do that, knowing fully well that we just became friends a couple minutes ago.
“A minute, friend,” he responded, open-mindedly.
*”Yes!”* I mumbled in gladness, folded my left hand to form a knuckle, as I hit the bed, waiting for the picture.
“Right! This is my girl and I,” he sent one he and Faramade were kissing. “Another here,” he sent the one she was standing alone, under a tree.
*”Ugh!”* I frowned. My eyes couldn’t stop staring at the first picture. I held my head, feeling jealous, as I thought of what to say. I couldn’t calm down. I got out of bed, went to sit on the nearby seat, and opened the drawer in front of me. I took out the pictures I had with Faramade, and snapped them with my phone.
*”You fool!”* I infuriatingly said to her image in my hand, sitting back in bed. I thought of how to reply him, as I squinted my eyes.
“Oh my goodness!” I typed back.
“What?” he added the tongue-out emoji.
*”Ode!”* I said within me. *”He thinks I am joking with him.”*
“Isn’t this Faramade?”
“Yes, it is her. How come you know her? Wow!” he said in surprise.
“She is a cheat, a big one,” I lied.
“Haha, this must be a lie, Tim,” he typed back, taking it unserious.
“I am honest, friend. She is a whore, even one I “used” in the past. I won’t let you to feel like I am a liar; so here is the evidence,” I added the pictures and sent.
For a couple minutes, I didn’t hear from Gideon. I knew he must have been bewildered, troubled and sick in his spirit. I decided to message him again.
“Yes…uhm, Timmy, I am shocked, I feel unsettled, my spirit broken. How did you know her?”
“Oh, that shouldn’t be the case now; you know what to do as you said you hate to be cheated on. Anyway, I believe she didn’t tell you about her past as she felt you could be mad at her. I probably think she doesn’t want to lose you,” I twisted, adding more lies.
“Oh no! I am mad, seriously! And she kept this away from me?! I needn’t say anything now, Timmy. I know what to do. Thank you so much, and goodnight!” he ended the conversation, going offline.
“Hey Gideon, you have to take it easy,” I sent, laughing in bed.
For a couple minutes, I laughed hysterically, until tears streamed down my face.
“Since she couldn’t give me audience, I believe she won’t find it too. Yesterday was my day of tears; today will possibly be yours. You think I am silly? You idiot!” I said, bursting into laughter.
*OCEAN OF LOVE (PT7)*
“One, two, three, four…” I stared at the wall clock, counting as its long hand ticked. I couldn’t have hoped for a better night, as I longed for the brighter morning to arrive soon.
All night, I mimicked and laughed at the chat with Giddy. At a time, I paused, picked up Faramade’s picture and said, ” Faramade, but…but I love you for real. You will come back into my life, because I am your home. Return home…Timmy is home, Giddy is a hotel,” bursting into uncouth laughter.
Later in bed, I laid my head to sleep, but just didn’t come. I decided to switch on the Television set in the room, to keep myself up.
Coincidentally, I was greeted by Susan Adelaide again. I pouted my lips saying, “This lady again?” I paid attention to her song, titled, *False Love.* She said,
*”You didn’t really love me,*
*”I loved you;*
*”Even if you felt broken,*
*”That didn’t mean you should break me,*
*”For what I didn’t do.”*
“Who are you?!” I frowned, raising my voice, as I quickly switched off the Television set. I laid flat in bed, and imagined what next would happen to Faramade. Shortly afterwards, I slept off.
Very early in the morning, I woke up in a very bad tempered way, and with a frown on my face. The images sent to me by Gideon kept dramatizing in my mind. Indeed, I felt jealous that he kissed her already; but then, it played in my head that their break-up was near. I hoped to hear from Giddy at night, so I know what next to do.
By evening, around 6:43pm, I logged on to Facebook to see if he’d have been online. I clicked on chat and saw he was. I wore a grin, typing,
“Hello Giddy, good evening to you.”
I didn’t get a response from him, so I copied the already sent message, pasted on the message space, and resent.
Within thirty seconds, I got a reply from him, saying, “Keep it, Timmy!”
My grin instantly wore a confused look. I shrugged, thinking why he responded bluntly.
“What? I don’t get you,” I replied.
“Don’t greet me, Timmy; you animal. You’ve been exposed! I am so glad that I am a cool-headed person, and didn’t ruin my relationship with her. Why on earth would you have lied against such innocent creature? ”
My lips parted in great surprise, as I bit my finger, reading the message again. I couldn’t reply straightaway, but thought of what to type. As I slowly read the part of which he called me an animal, I got provoked, but needed to stay cool.
“Giddy? What are you saying?”
“Hey guy, I will like to be honest with you— you are wicked. Faramade was never a whore, and she is not. You’re just an ex-boyfriend of hers. She made it known to me by showing me a lot about you guys. I couldn’t believe she could show me her diary, her messages with you, her past pictures also. Look here, that’s enough evidence, enough for me to believe her. I don’t care what you say now, you heartless guy!”
*”Oh no!”* I bit my lower lip in anger, shutting my eyes. I exhaled loudly, opening my eyes.
“You must be so stupid, man. Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me in that manner? I am sure you weren’t properly trained,” I typed fast, looking for more words to add. “Let me hit it this way, and let me make it so clear to you now. Leave Faramade alone for me, if you love your dear self! Else…!” I warned.
“Haha, so cool to know you confessed she was your girl, looking at this. Anyway, do your worst, I am ready for you. Just go away now, animal!” he replied.
“To hell with you!” I quickly sent.
“Okay! If you’re so bold enough, you can come challenge me at *Yummyland* tomorrow…by 12:00pm. I am sure you know there; it’s behind Faramade’s house! I care less about whatever you say now!”
“Go away!” he messaged, went offline.
My hands shook uncontrollably, beads of sweat stood out on my face; my body got so hot, as I smashed my phone on the ground. No one ever challenged me, no one ever spoke to me that way. I was ready for blood.
*OCEAN OF LOVE (PT8)*
My face turned red, anger boiled deep in my system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction, and didn’t think it’d be too much for me to handle. I smoldered underneath my stony expression, as I needed to erupt.
“Me to Gideon?” I pointed at myself. “Does he really know who I am? He challenged me. No problem about that, I will make life miserable for him. I will make him know I am not just Timmy, but Timmy the fire. Sometimes, people forget fire is gentle, but doesn’t entertain anyone at his place. They forget it would burn, not just burn, but burn to a state of deformity. I am ready to burn Gideon, he’s asked for it.”
Night had fallen, the cloud rumbled, the symphony of crickets chirped, as wind forced the trees to sway from side to side, rustling the leaves. I could perceive rain was about to fall, so I didn’t bother to take a glance at the wall clock. I got my phone, moved closer to the window, looked all around and viewed how the next day would be.
For a second, I thought what if Gideon had an agenda of getting some back ups for himself. I had a finger in between my teeth, and thought of having two to three guys go with me.
Without wasting time, I called Dolu and Alex on phone— my no-nonsense friends, and informed them about the event. They were so mad that they looked to confront him themselves. I told them not to worry, and that I’d take control of it. I also made them aware that we’d go celebrating later, as it was also going to be my birthday.
After the conversation, I licked my lips, laughed sardonically, and sat on the bed.
“Tomorrow is my day, no one can tell me nay, I will have my way,” I said softly, laying on it.
By 11:25am, my two friends and I got on the way there. As we were approaching there, which was 11:57am by then; we saw Gideon and Faramade from distance, having arms around their waists and smiling, as they went inside the eatery. We walked down there, slowly, but stood opposite the eatery. It was an open field.
As they exited eatery with goodies in their hands, I was first to draw their attention.
“Hey!” I pocketed my hands, as they turned to where I was.
Gideon slowly took off his specs to see who it was. He wore it back, then laughed hard, coming close to me.
“Timmy?” Faramade trembled, walking behind Gideon.
“Shhh…baby,” he silenced her, planted a kiss on her lips and asked her not to come close. She nodded right, but with fears written all over her.
Boldly, Gideon drew nearer to me, stood just an inch away from me, as we both stared at each other, wearing hard faces. We stood still like statues for close to a minute, expecting either of us speak first. He cracked his head, and pointed a finger at me.
I wasted no time to retaliate, as I hit it. He beamed.
“Isn’t this you, Timmy? You’re are no match for me,” he said arrogantly.
“And you must me silly for those words,” I said breathlessly, looking serious.
“Did you just say I am silly? You know what, anyway? You never deserved Faramade, I still wonder how she came across a person like you. You are sick!” he placed his forehead on mine.
I pushed him back in annoyance, but he immediately hit my mouth for my attitude. I didn’t hesitate to slap him. This resulted into a fight. He overpowered me at a point, when we were on the ground. He got on me, called me names and threw punches at me. I overpowered him as well, and returned the punches.
“Stop it, please,” Faramade cried out, as she moved closer to us. She ran up to Dolu and Alex, pleaded they stop us, but was ignored by them. Blood gushed out of Gideon’s mouth. I got angrier as I pressed his Adam apple.
“Help!!!” Faramade shouted as she bit my back, crying.
A guy in black ran toward us, he pushed me away. Dolu and Alex got on him, and beat him up. I wasn’t aware that Gideon was gasping for breath, as I joined my friends in beating up the guy.
“Enough, guys!” I commanded under heavy breathing. They obeyed my call.
To my surprise, he had given up the ghost. I drew closer to me, looked at my two friends in surprise. They were shocked.
“Timmy, oh…no! You killed Gideon. Why? Tell me why? Gideon, please, don’t do this to me…,” Faramade cried bitterly at the other end, with her hands full of blood.
My friends and I stared at one another, looking to escape. We never knew the Police was around.
“Get them!” a voice spoke from behind us.
We headed the same way, running as fast as we could. We got into a bush and looked to jump a fence, because there was no other way. Alex had jumped, before we realized it was an ocean, which he drowned instantly.
On the fence, Dolu and I knew not what to do. We whispered his name, but there was no response. We trembled and thought of what we could do.
Before we could, we heard the same voice which said, “Stop, or else you get shot!”
“No!” Dolu cried out. “You ruined my life, Timmy. Good bye!” He dived into the ocean.
“Dooooluuu…” I shouted, as tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t do anything than to surrender to the Police.
My birthday became a sad day, my plans got scuppered.
Here I am today; I, Timi Edwards, sobbing in the place I never wished to be. I let jealousy get the better side of me, I made anger ruin my life, all because of immaturity. I forgot love isn’t a do-or-die affair, I refused to tell Mom who could’ve been of help to me. I thought I was right in my eyes, I thought because I was a man, I could do things myself without someone else’s help. As a nineteen year old boy, I forgot I was still having a long way to go, and that my academics should have been given more priority. I fell into the ocean of love, because I thought I could feel among like my friends.
Mom taught me to never rush things, but always remain patient. Patience fixes things, it could look long, but it definitely pays at the perfect time. In all things we do, patience should be adopted, when they ain’t moving the way as expected, even in love. Dolu is gone, Alex is gone, Gideon is gone, but Faramade is living her life freely now. What about me?